I want to give a little insight into how this website came to be.
About a two years ago the lord really pressed on my heart to begin writing. I am in no way an avid writer, or even reader for that matter. I went through many conversations with God about why I am not good enough, or qualified.. The lords word says he doesn’t call the qualified, but qualifies the called. (1 cor 1:27-28) After going back and forth in disobedience, finally about a year ago I gave in. I didn’t know what platform would be given. I didn’t know if it was a book, a blog, facebook post. I didn’t have any direction. It was just a matter of putting my hand to the paper and writing what Gods brought me through.
A little over eight years ago I gave my life to God. I was not brought up in church, nor a religious home. My grandmother attended church, and occasionally I would go with her, Typically nothing really even stuck. I didn’t even really comprehend the trinity, much less salvation or that God’s love was so full and precious. I came into the knowledge of God because I realized I was broken inside. I looked up and he stood there with his arms wide open and held me. Fast forward many years, I’ve been as my husbands grandfather says “I’ve been justified, santified, set aside, so God may be glorified.” I am walking with the lord. He’s been changing my heart, and really showing me all the negative things in my life. He’s getting rid of all the sin that keeps me bound and pouring out his love. He’s shinning a light on me, and as messy as I am, he washes me. He cleanses me. He purifies my heart. He shows me a love that’s unwavering despite my feelings or circumstances.
So 2019 was the absolute hardest year of my life. I prayed the “scary prayers” the ones you’re told “oh, dont ask God for that.” I prayed for patience. I prayed to comprehend the love of God. The scariest prayer I prayed was for God to shake my faith. I wanted to see mountains move. I wanted to see if God was going to provide when I relied solely on him. I wanted to have groceries brought to my house when I didn’t have any. I wanted to see him pay bills that needed to be paid. I wanted to see healings, and multiplication of food. I am so glad I went through this, but it wasnt for the faint of heart. Many times I almost threw my hands up and walked away. He did just all of that, and more. He made me who I am today.
First he exposed me. He showed me so many things I was lukewarm about. We had a tax return and planned on setting up an entire separate fund to pay half a years mortgage to alleviate stress. We were being financially stable and listening to advice from elders. God immediately told my husband and I that is not what he wanted us to do with that money at all. He laid a few things on our heart, and out of obedience, we did it with a joyful heart. Before we knew it that little cushion was completely gone. Honestly nothing super frivolous was purchased, it just drained unfathobly quick. Within two months we didnt have anything to show for what was spent, and didnt really know where it went. We truly had to rely on God. My husbands checks were good, but this particular year they just weren’t enough. We did everything we are supposed to do, but nothing helped. I would like to say “the enemy attacked our finances” (which i believe he did) but untimely God grew my faith by leaps and bounds. God provided not one, but MANY meals. Between people just offering to buy dinner, giving 10 lbs of apples and soy milk, (which I have two lactose intolerant small boys) to family just buying too much and asking If we wanted to pick up some groceries because they didn’t have room, to a little lady at my church bringing my kids fruit snacks and treats because they were on sale. God provided. Jehovah Jireh my provider. He literally met our needs. We would have $100 to last two weeks on groceries for over 6 months we budgeted like this, and God always stretched it. We always had a pantry full. It wasnt the best, but we never went without a meal.
God provided clothes for our children the entire year. He provided shoes, socks, underwear, coats, diapers, you name it. If there was a need I praised God and thanked him for providing, and he met the exact need I had. God didnt just measly get me what I needed to get by, but always exceeded my expectations. In August my husband went to visit his grandmother in Illinois and as soon as he reached the town she lives in, his vehicle completely gave out. The repair on his truck ended up being so costly and so extensive that we had to leave it in Illinois to be worked on, as he drove back to Georgia. Let’s really talk about how God met the need. It wasnt exactly what I would have chosen to happen, but our need was met. My husbands uncle had a spare car that he allowed my husband to borrow and drive home to us. He said here’s the key, use it as long as you need it, and just return it when you pick up the truck. What a blessing. My mother and father in law took the kids to church, and we rode with the boys and it wasnt easy, but it worked.
Gods plan isn’t always sunshine and rainbows, but he does provide. We went through many trials. Between someone saying they would cover the cost and not coming through, to my Yukon going down simultaneously, and the tag expiring on the car we were given. It was absolutely trying. During this time I pressed into God harder than I ever have. I was Praying, worshipping, fasting. I was weeping to the lord and he was strengthening my faith. Three months was how long it took to get my husbands truck back. The cash came in by what felt like nickels. I felt like God had forsaken me at times, honestly. It took a man of God coming into my home and saying the lord gave me a word for you, “My Daughter you have all the faith in the world, but zero trust.” Everything made sense in that moment. I cried because I knew it was true. God brought me to the root of trust issues, and I had to put my complete trust in God, despite my feelings. I had to trust him over every single aspect of my life. That’s Finally when everything turned around for us. My husband preached for three days and at the end of that third night, we received almost down the dollar for what was the remaining amount needed. Also my husbands dad said he would cover gas and food to get to Illinois. Believe me when I say what a a blessing because we were barely able to feed a family of 6, much less pay for all the expenses of traveling. God made a way. He picked up his truck, and my dad fixed my vehicle and that absolute three months of agony turned into a beautiful testimony. I will share seperately about Christmas in another post. Mainly because God seriously made me weep for days about how much he cares for us. Paraphrased version, our presents for the kids were all purchased, and the things I found and lessons he taught me, formed me into the person I am today, also it made me slow down and start writing.
Some posts are going to be older, but I wrote them as the Holy Spirit guided my hands in typing them. I hope he ministers to you as he has for me. I hope this challenges your faith and makes you pray the “scary prayers” because as trying as they were for me, they built me.
The lord kept laying the Jeremiah on my heart. He kept taking me back this past year to him watching the potter. The Potter molds and forms the clay in his hands. He gets the lumps out and puts the clay into the oven. Then if any imperfections form, he breaks it, molds it, and makes it perfect. God is the potter, and we are the clay. He’s always fixing us. When it isn’t pretty, and its painful; he is there continuously shaping us in his hands and making us who he’s created us to be. He loves us so much. He cares for us so much. This year the lord gave me the name “The Potter’s Daughter”. I will share my life. I will be transparent. Ive been broken, and I’ve been in the fire. I have cracks and God is still mending me into his design for me. I do not type eliquoiently, nor do I have a masquerade mask on. This is raw, this is real, this is me. If it helps one person deepen their relationship with God, or leads one person to the lord, then its all worth it.
Father we are the clay, and you are the potter. I pray that everyone who reads this feels your presence. I pray that your peace and glory would fall on them, and make them want to deepen their relationship. I pray that you would help the ones who are struggling and show them the cracks in their lives. Shine a light and show us what your perfect will for our lives are. Show us what we were made for, then let us have a teachable and obedient spirit to move and obtain the desires you’ve given us. You are my potter lord, mold me, break me, and guide me in this blog you’ve given me to reach the broken. I love you and i give ALL the glory to you.
2 Timothy 3:16-17