Restoration (No Anxiety)

I have always read about the prophet Elijah and I used to ask, “how did this great man of God see fire literally come from heaven, then consume the sacrifice, and prove that he served the one and true living God. Then he went and hid in a cave because of a threat straight from the devils puppet Jezebel.” Really let that sink in. Can you imagine watching 450 prophets in their strange head pieces, burning incense and crying out to an idol they worship. Then believing it so much that they started to cut themselves when “it” (their little idol) didn’t appear. Then witnessing Elijah set up the 12 stones, soaking the alter in water, which defies all logic. Then watching fire come from heaven and accept the sacrifice. I imagine everyone’s mouths dropped and they all stood in awe as it was burned. Regardless whether they accepted God as the one true God, or continued to deny him once seeing that, they knew. Now I couldn’t comprehend how you can witness that, first hand too. The one true living God speaks to you, tells you exactly what to do. You see fire come from heaven and burn the sacrifice, and tell Ahab and Jezebel its going to rain, and it does. How can someone who has no power threaten you, and you feel scared for your life and run; when that’s who you have on your side? It never made sense to me. I just couldn’t imagine. Then something amazing happened in my life, and afterword I found myself in a similar situation as Elijah.

I was being super challenged in my faith. Gods recently brought us to a place where we are starting to get our feet wet in our callings. It’s a transitional period for us, and its been so beautifully exhausting. I realized I’ve been going through this molding process and being cut and burned and lights are being shined on things I’ve pushed aside for years. It’s healing I wasn’t prepared for. Gods saying, its time. So I began reading this book that the Holy Spirit lead me to, and essentially its like this person has walked in the areas that have always seemed so unfathomable and uncertain but we knew its so similar to what God has for us. Like,”how do we even get there?” Is what I would frequently ask. I am seeing it full bloom now.

So as I began reading I felt such negative emotions rise out of me. I felt fear and anxiety like I’ve never felt. Fear is something the enemy absolutely had me bound by. We came back to Georgia and it just started out of nowhere. I have four kids and the fact that I have more children than hands, it started giving me fear and enhanced my anxiety. I’m not speaking negative but I am being real here. I was so paranoid. Some can even argue I have reason to be, just because of the spiritual attacks the enemy has launched on all of us, many times. But I was walking in fear, not faith that my god would protect me like his word says. So I say all that to show the severity of how it was. I never spoke it, but the inner turmoil was pretty bad any time I left the house, or took my kids outside.

Also after a trip to Panama City I began having such anxiety about foods. With pregnancy I experienced adverse reactions to new foods. I would start to chew and my mouth would tingle and I wouldn’t be able to swallow. My tongue would swell and I would break out in hives. It was absolutely awful and I became so paranoid that I would ask continuously what was in every single thing that I put in my mouth. I just steered clear of anything that could potentially give me any reaction. I would also develop the tingling and be unable too swallow just because the anxiety was so bad surrounding trying a new food. I felt such bondage. Ive prayed for God to take this, but I’ve never really surrendered it either.

The lord called me to a fast. I was taught you never speak of this, but so many believers don’t fast, and they don’t receive their breakthrough. Some things can only come through prayer and fasting. (Matt 17:21) I was dealing with anxiety in such an unnatural way compared to normal, so I didn’t hesitate. I didn’t really know exactly why I was fasting, but I just sought the lord through it. God gave me revelation, correction, and even showed me I was not forgiving someone in an area of my life. I forgave this person, and my Heavenly Father forgave me. (Matt 6:14-15) I didn’t realize there was bitterness in that area, and the spirit of anxiety and fear essentially had an open door to my life. I came out from the back bedroom after a tent revival service I attended. Nothing profound was taught, but a testimony was given and it ministered to me greatly. I felt released from this fast.

My mother in law baked this amazing vegetable lasagna and brought it over. The ingredients included two things I had adverse reactions to (squash and zucchini) but it smelt delectable. I was absolutely famished and I began crying. I said “I cant live like this anymore.” “I cant do this! I want to be healed from this.” My husband without missing a beat put his hands on my head and began praying over me. I felt the “electricity” (as I call it) of the lord tingle from the top of my head, down my hands, to my feet. I felt such a loosening in my throat muscles and such a glory flood my entire body. He was healing me in that moment, and I received it. He wasn’t just healing me of food allergies, but anxiety. That was my breakthrough. I sat down, I ate the amazing large container of lasagna, and I thanked God. A wave of unbelief started to come over me, and I continued to praise him, and thank him for my healing. Here’s something no one ever really speaks of, the enemy doesn’t want you free. He will speak and attack your mind and as soon as he gets you to doubt, you can experience unbelief and go back into the same condition. Ive seen it happen in myself a few times. Give thanksgiving and speak it as though it is. (Romans 4:17) speak life, and claim your breakthrough.

Now after all this happened. I witnessed it first hand. I felt the glory of the lord. I felt the Holy Spirit anytime I would start to feel anxiety. Just such a calm ran throughout my body. I personally experienced his goodness.

Then the enemy started tormenting me the next day and causing my husband and I to fight. He started touching an area that Gods about to bring me through. I felt jealous that he was able to just go where he wanted. I imagined like in the cartoons when you see the little devil on your shoulder. I was listening to praise and worship music, and speaking Gods truth. Then the next minute I felt jealousy rise out of nowhere. Instead of putting my flesh under subjection, in that moment I pitied myself. “I never get to go anywhere without the kids” “woe is me, I feel stuck.” Those thoughts now flooded throughout my soul and I started arguing. My husband luckily saw what was happening. He left and went to the service but sent me a message by Dave Wilkerson. As I was murmuring at the sink as I washed the kids dishes the message he sent penetrated my heart. I started crying and asking God, “why am I like this?” He began ministering to me as to why those emotions are there and the root of the problem.

Just as Elijah ran and hid in the cave after Jezebel spoke death, I ran into jealously after he spoke lies over me. I watched him heal me, deliver me, set me free from anxiety and food allergies. Then the next day I found myself operating in the flesh, verses speaking Gods promises over my life. Speak the truth in him, but also believe it. You wont walk in the fullness if you have unbelief. Remember there is no condemnation, don’t beat yourself up. Just acknowledge you were wrong, repent, and move forward.

God gently leads us and heals us in his time. He immediately covers us, he saves us instantaneously. But sanctification is a process. It means to live for him, and die to ourselves. I know someone will read and say “why would I want that?” Ill tell you why, there’s freedom. All your hang ups, your anger, depression, anxiety, covetousness, lack of self control, being selfish; it all goes away. If you allow God to heal and mend you. He wants you whole, not broken and miserable. So often people just survive until they die, or until the rapture. But he wants you to experience his glory now. He wants you to feel his presence. He wants you to be full of the spirit and walking in truth, so no matter what’s thrown at you, you overcome. He loves us all uniquely and individually. Stand on the truth of what he’s shown you, and thank him for it as though it were. Speak life, and watch how your situation changes.

Father I ask that this would touch someone’s heart. I pray for an inner healing for your children. I rebuke the spirit of anxiety and depression. I cast it into the hell in Jesus name. You are our peace, you are our comforter. Holy Spirit come inside and dwell in our hearts. Minister to us and lead us to you. Expose the things that distance us from you. You are glory! You are loved and we no longer speak “my anxiety is this” but “thank you for taking my anxiety.” I cast my cares on you! I pray for everyone reading that they feel your presence in their lives. An experience is something to talk about, but an encounter is what your bride so desperately needs.

God, Your bride is stained and desperately needs you to shine a light on the spots on her gown. Shine your bright light on the stain and heal them. Who the son sets free is free indeed.(mark 10:45) your words are yes and amen. Your word says you cannot tell a lie, and we trust your promises, and we thank you and love you despite how we feel. We trust you lord. Heal your people, in Jesus name, amen.

Allow him to minister to you. Allow him to answer why you deal with what you do. Expose the root, and let him extract it and fill the hole with a seed that can bloom into a powerful testimony. If you don’t know God, read john 3:16. I could go into a profound teaching, but God loves you so much he sent his only son to die for your sins. You are precious, you are loved. He’s stretching out his hands. Whosoever shall call on the lord shall be saved. (Romans 10:13) Then let him minister to you. The signs of the time are here, and he’s coming back for his bride. Would you want to walk down the aisle with a beautiful white dress, or with twigs, dirt, and ash on it?. Repent, and let him heal you, in Jesus name, amen.

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