Crown or Thorn

So often we hear of mighty men, or absolutely heinous and corrupted men in power in Israel. We rarely hear about the women of the Bible as often. A women of God can be such a beautiful blessing not only to her husband, but everyone around her. She can save nations, kill corrupt men, save her people from slaughter, and be the mother of promise. The Bible says a virtuous woman is like a crown to her husbands head. Really think about this. A man can be whole, but the adoration and awe that people have of the crown far surpasses the average man without one. Virtuous means having high or moral standards. When a woman stands her grounds in her beliefs and she guards her mind and body she is a beautiful and precious jewel. She cannot be duplicated. For her beauty is within. Her character is one of a kind and she is a prime example of the bride on her wedding day. She shines and radiates for all to see and adorn. She is a diamond in the rough. There are few like her. Four women from four very different walks of life stand out to me in the Bible when I think of a virtuous woman.

Ester was an orphan. She was so naturally beautiful. The other women had their jewels, scents, their hair prime and their outfits were exquisite. She was rather plain, but she stood out. The beauty that radiates from within can far surpass the outward beauty. She was given outward beauty as well, it says the king favored her. She went on to be the queen. She saved her people from being massacred. She called out Haman for his wickedness and she literally saved an entire nation. Her beauty (inside and out) opened the door, but she walked into her destiny moment, and she set her people free from what was coming.

Sarah was such a precious woman. Can you imagine being 90 years old and giving birth to your only child of promise? Can you imagine the sheer amount of faith it would have taken to pack her entire livelihood up, and follow her husband. She didn’t begin with a destination, she just followed in obedience. She didn’t argue, or sway her husband away from the lord. She trusted, and was given a child in a time that was so far past her prime that no one could doubt Gods existence. That itself was a miracle.

Jael was a warrior. I am personally fond of the name. Her husband was instructed to kill Sisera and he didn’t. The lord gave her specific instruction and she gave him milk, comforted him, and drove a tent stake through his skull and killed him instantaneously. He was a corrupt man and Israel was set free because of her obedience. She was given the strength to act in a way that not only honored her husband, but the nation.

Abigail really has always stood out to me.She was a woman with beauty and brains. Her husband wasn’t the kindest of men. He was a very stubborn drunk. He refused to help King David’s army that desperately needed refreshments. They had been warring and David called out to her husband Nabal for help. He declined, but his gracious wife Abigail met king David and generously helped the men. She was kind, not hateful towards her husband. She saved her husbands backside, but also her people. David found favor with her after her husband passed and she became his wife.

A good woman is so powerful. She is not only a beautiful shiny piece but she is to be admired and adored. Proverbs 31 says, “she opens her mouth with wisdom.” She watches over her household and is not idle.” “Many daughters do well, but she excels them.” She is smart, caring, she prospers with her hands. She loves and she has a holy fear of the lord. She is more precious than rubies, and she is very loved. The light of the lord shines on her and she radiates everywhere she goes because of he who is within her.

However a corrupt woman is rotten to her husbands bones. She is vain, malicious, controlling, despised, rejected, lustful, and a shame to her husband. She is like vinegar poured into a spring of water. She leaks her hatred and her malice keeps bondage over you. She comes with the devil using her as a mouthpiece and she leads the weak astray.

Jezebel was so corrupt. Her husband Ahab was very weak and she took control. When someone talks about a controlling spirit, they often say a “jezebel spirit” because the control was so overwhelming. She lead her husband to serve the false idol Baal that trickled down to many in Israel who bowed and worshipped the enemy instead of the one true God. Her fate was rough. She was killed and the dogs wouldn’t even eat her hands, her feet, and her head. Proverbs 6 says, “These six things the LORD hates, Yes, seven are an abomination to Him: A proud look, A lying tongue, Hands that shed innocent blood, A heart that devises wicked plans, Feet that are swift in running to evil, A false witness who speaks lies, And one who sows discord among brethren.”Clearly all things the lord hated was embodied in this woman. The Devil used her as a puppet, and she destroyed her family, her husband, and the nation of Israel for generations.

Pottifers wife was a liar. She wanted to seduce Joseph and when he turned her down, she lied and claimed he had assalted her. He spent two years in jail. She brought not only dishonor on a man of God, but her husband. A lying tongue is an abomination to the lord. Joseph was restored and placed in authority, and her false testimony brought shame to her husband.

Delilah was so sneaky. She knew Samson was anointed by God. She would see this man go into battle and she knew the strength he posed was supernatural. After three times she finally seduced him into telling her his power was in his hair. It could not be cut. As if she had not already schemed him a few times before, the lust he felt towards her lead him into a place of vulnerability and he caved with his secret from the lord. She destroyed him. The phillistines literally gouged his eyes out, and mocked him. The lord still restored him one final time and he pulled down the pillars onto the entire phillistine army, causing a mass of casualties.

Gomer was a harlot. She was modernly what we would say as a prostitute. She laid with many other men. Hosea was lead by the lord to marry her, despite knowing her past. She left him many times and continued to run off, and he would always seek her and bring her back home. I can only imagine the shame he felt. I can imagine the embarrassment as she took off away from her family literally whoring around. What a typology of Jesus. Seriously! He was so kind and merciful despite what she did.

A woman is not meant to compare with a man, but she’s meant to be everything a man isn’t. When reading these typologies of women did you find yourself likened unto Ester, Abigail, Jael, and Sarah. Or did you find uncanny similarities to the women that destroyed their men? Jezebel, potifers wife, Delilah, and Gomer brought shame. They brought despair and essentially made their husbands/spouses come up in sackcloth. They weren’t the jewel to their heads, but the demise and the defeat that ultimately lead them to their deaths.

Are you a woman who builds up your husband? Do you honor him in conversation? Are you obedient to the lord and the things he speaks over your marriage? Do you love him unconditionally? Despite how he treats you, do you go out of your way to be the godly woman God has designed you to be? Through Jesus we are a new creation. We have to turn the other cheek, and look past the situation at hand. We have to quit trying to always be right. We have to quit pointing the finger, and look inward. Are we being loving, compassionate, and shining like the jewel on his crown. Are we building him up, edifying him, and showing mercy and grace to our husbands despite what we think they deserve? Or are we speaking death and wondering why our marriages have weeds. Are you lacking intimacy and a connection? When I have felt distant from my husband, I have noticed a disconnect somewhere. You have to talk, but you also have to listen. The world will give you all the wrong advice for a marriage. It’s no wonder most are falling apart. You cannot be selfish, and in a thriving relationship. Trade your “me” for “we”, and see how it flourishes. You cannot expect a fruitful garden if you aren’t planting seeds, nurturing, and watering it daily.. The world will tell you not to compromise, but I am giving you true applicable advice here. Marriage is full of compromise. It can not, and should not always be your way. The biggest lie straight from the devils mouth is happy wife, happy life. But happy spouse is what keeps a happy house. Quit comparing to your husband and realize you are designed differently. He focuses on one task better, and he is stronger. You run circles around him mentally, but you are not designed to compare with him, but to be everything he can not be, nor was he designed to be.

Say,” Father I ask that you would restore my marriage. I ask you would make me like the women of promise and the women who were virtuous and humble but so powerful. I ask you would make me less controlling and more teachable. Let me see my husband as the might man of God you’ve created him to be. Let me see him through your lenses father. You made him specifically for me. Let me nurture my garden and let my marriage thrive, despite the thorns and trials in life. Help me be less me, and more we. Correct me when I am wrong, and let me be quick to forgive and to give the grace you’ve given me.”

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