Maybe She Doesn’t Want To Be Reached.

I have a cat we rescued. She’s a Russian blue, and is six years old. When I first saw her I absolutely fell in love with her expressively large green eyes. We drove forever to get to her, but she has been the perfect addition to our family. When we first got her she was extremely shy, and I thought she would warm up in a week or so, but I was wrong. We’ve had her about 4 months and she is still very skittish of my kids. Honestly I don’t blame her. I would be too. She gets even slightly uncomfortable and scurries as fast as she can under my bed and hides all day long. She waits for it to be calm so she can sneak off to her litter box, or eat some food quickly without being seen. Occasionally if my daughters are calm, they can come up to her and get a few pets in before she moves and cowers, or hides. Ive tried so hard so work with her. She loves me and comes out every single morning and purrs and gets her morning scratches behind the ear, and loved on. Never held, but touched.

I promise there is a purpose for this. She has recently found such a liking to my bedroom windows. I noticed she was extremely inquisitive. So naturally I open them so she can sit on the ledge and enjoy the breeze from the window. Ive noticed quite the morale change its made for her. Today we come in the house and my oldest son bursts into the room, and screams “KATYIA” to which she introverted hard, and aimed her sights on the underside of my bed frame. He leans down and proceeds to swipe his arm under the bed. As I started talking I found the words, “maybe she doesn’t want to be reached” came from my mouth. As I said that, God laid such a message on my heart. “Everyone wants to be reached, some are just scared.” Oof…

I really analyzed what God was saying, and I felt so broken. A woman came to mind. She is a friend who posts just disgustingly sinful content. Ive wanted to erase her, but every time I think about it, the lord says “no”. I don’t really understand Gods ways, but its hard to see some of the things posted. I don’t even feel lead to hide their posts. As I said, “she doesn’t want to be reached.” The lord showed me that woman, and said pray! He gave me the knowledge that she’s screaming for help by the things she posts. Negative or positive, she needs prayer. Shes screaming for it, and I was scoffing because she didn’t meat my expectation of what my facebook newsfeed should look like.

That in a nutshell, is the modern church. We get upset and ruffled when a sinner comes in to change their lives, because they realize something is missing, and it may be God. Then we give them glares and talk about them around the lunch table. So much shame and heartbreak sends them over the edge, and they want nothing to do with God or church. I repented. I realized that thought was my “perception” towards them, not how God sees them. Ask God for a heavenly perspective. Ask him to break your heart for what breaks his. Look past what you see in the natural, and press in to what’s taking place in the spiritual. She’s lost and undone, and I’m surprised by the filth posted?

The father of the prodigal wasn’t disgusted as his son came home covered in mud, from hanging around in a pig pen. He welcomed him with arms wide open. He called for the best animal to be made for their meal. He threw a party, and he was so happy that he was home. He cleaned him, and welcomed him with open arms. Frequently the church today is like the older brother. We have been discouraged. We are doing what were ‘supposed to do, but he gets celebrated” mindset. Our thoughts of” look how great I’ve done, and remained faithful. Look at my clean clothes. I fast twice a week, and I am holy.” We forget that the lord wrestled us from the pig pen too. (Luke 15:11-32)

I pray he never lets me forget who I was. I know who I am is only because of Jesus. Sometimes the lord brings memories up. Its not for condemnation, or to look back and indulge in the sin that I no longer take part in. It is to show growth and keep me humble. So many of us act more like the Pharisees than Jesus. We lack compassion, humility, grace, and a heart of the father. Ive been there, and the lord has corrected me. I call it “being taken to the woodshed.” But he reminds me of who I was, and how he changed me. Then says, “go and love them.”

Love is what’s going to change that person who appears to be too far gone. Jesus loved who we deem unloveable. He loved the leppers, the outcasts, the harlot, and the tax collector. He loved so deeply that they left their entire lives behind. Jesus didn’t condone their sin, and take part of it. But he loved, and they repented. They wanted what he had. They left their past, and they followed him. They were a new creation, and began ridding themselves of who they once were. (Matthew 4:21-25)

People think that if they can get more money, change jobs, get bigger homes, a boat, a horse, a golf membership, a diamond ring, or change spouses, or even sexual orientation; they’ll be happy. You wont be. It’ll be a short burst of happiness until you look in the mirror and realize, “I don’t like what I see.” I would drink so much that my pain was numbed. I would look in the mirror and I didn’t even recognize who I was. I didn’t look like myself, but a blurred vision of dissatisfaction.

When I accepted Jesus, my whole life changed. I had trials still, but the peace that came after was suddenly bearable. The hope that he was going to get me through it; it gave me strength. The baptism of the Holy Spirit proved every doubt of his existence to me. The language I spoke, wasn’t my own. The power of God I felt was such a peaceful and wonderful feeling. He healed me, delivered me, and He is continuing to set me free daily. Right now I am in a “hospital season” where I’m just being massively healed left and right. He showed me who he was when I saw healings, and God move through strangers. I realize so many never see this, and I can tell you friend. Did you stop asking for his will? Did you quit seeking him? Did he open doors you didn’t want? Sin keeps us from the father, and here’s the unpopular truth, repentance and holiness are necessary. We cant expect the glory, when we cant put down the remote to read the word.

The burden of life is heavy, and unbearable at times. Even with everything money can buy, there is such a longing for peace. Only Jesus can give that peace. He gives the peace that passes all understanding. Analytically, I cant explain it, but its so real. Its so pure. He doesn’t want us to look perfected, but have a cloudy and dirty unhealed heart. He wants the inside of the cup washed, so we begin to shine to the outside. Jesus says, “my burden is easy, and my yoke is light.” (Matthew 11:30) If you’re overwhelmed with this world, know there is peace, and his name is Jesus! Whosoever shall call upon the lord shall be saved (Romans 10:13). God is love, and his love is so much deeper than we can even fathom. He doesn’t want to condemn us, but to hold us. He wants us to tell us everything is going to be ok. Trust him. If you ever need to talk, I am always available in messenger.

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